look at fear

Oh shadow wave, a reflection distorted by my own fears and misgivings, since at this time I can not relate to it, no true image, of its own sublime beauty and power, only changeful swirls of eluding images which dance in the corners of my perception, charcoaled by that which I do not know. There is, in truth, nothing in this shadow wave that can harm me except my own unknowing , for it is there dance that gives the foreboding howl that resonates in the hidden cavities of my soul.
I must find the light in this shadow wave, those particles of light which have flown far from their own environment can meet and mingle in a shimmering subdued rainbow of changeful colors hidden in the subterfuge, like the play of stray moonbeams in a wind swept forest.
I will mingle and dance with this play of shadow, not feeding it with any emotion but shameless observation, till they form a vortex of meaning and stream upwards, still dancing and shimmering towards their unseen source.
Ahh then pure shining immensity reveals itself as I find my self drawn up into raptures enfoldment of meaning upon meaning, which is the central principle of the emotional-instinctual nature, this life of the natural soul. It is limitless question, and limitless answer; each waxing and waning in the ever changeful flow of limitless expression. I Fear you shadow wave no longer you are but hiding light.

Remembering the oneness

Disclaimer.There is much in this experience that is contrary to teachings that I have been exposed to I have not tried to make it fit into what I or others have believe from the Word or thought. Please understand it as such; it is only an angle of perception, an attempt to explain something that is beyond my theological ability to explainNachman Rosh Hashanah VisionI Am sending this message to all the wonderful people that I've had any contact with, and who would resonate with what I will share. Last nightI remembered who "we" is.To explain how I got to this point of remembering would take too long, but to say that as I was preparing my soul to enter into the Jewish new year (doing a unique form of fasting, and spiritual and mind exercises) that evening I had scanned the Zohar in its entirety as I was listening to this wonderful music tape of Hassidic nigilum I was softly rocking weeping and scanning the zohar for a second time, feeling overwhelmed with my love for the Name (blessed be He) this intensity increased and I felt such sorrow and love mingled in an elixir which was both life and death in the same instant, like a violet flame consuming me the more I surrendered to the Name the deeper in my center I went. Suddenly my consciousness exploded out of my body I crossed a threshold and followed my way back to its origin.I know now that This experience, which could be called "an awakening ," is simply our consciousness waking up and remembering what it really is. Enlightenment is far easier than the individual is ready to accept. It is simply holding these awakenings into everyday reality and not shifting back into the confusing thought forms and deluded veils that keep our soul from true visionary beholding. Indeed, the souls that will resonate with what I share will soon remember also, as one cannot share enlightenment but remind each other of our own inner light. However, in an enlightened state one attempts to translate the light through the difficult maze and filtering, in our conscious experience .So that when finally explained the language constructs limit our access to the very experience we are attempting to explain for it is beyond the language barriers, this blessed remembering who we really are. In other words it will seem like rambling of words to all but those that have tasted at some level the experiences behind the words.Unfortunately due to my own attachments to the pain and drama of this world, I was not able to hold this space, and shifted back in to normal "half awake consciousness" but at the time of this writing I was still in a high state of awareness.What I wish to attempt to do here is to vibrate this understanding, trying to step outside of all the culture language and human drama that is designed to shield the pure light of consciousness. (A little tip: the real work is not enlightenment, although it has taken 46 years for this dirt body to get to this first important step!) It is not necessary at this point to tell you how I got to this point of remembrance. Indeed, many explanations will follow as to all the techniques, methods, and experiences that have led the soul to the point of remembrance. These will be only as valuable as a picture frame is to the picture: it only serves to define the boundary upon which one can look into the window of true seeing.As I began to open up through the Zohar matrix, I began to ascend through layers of consciousness into spheres of wisdom, higher and higher through the tree of life till I broke through the creation drama itself and remembered a time before there was the creation. I/we, (one undifferentiated being, ) were perfect vessels/recipients of limitless light, basking in unspeakable love. This light is beyond all intelligence. Intelligence is simply the de-acceleration of limitless light into its lower refractive just as the white light differentiation of photons into the seven frequency rays. this multitude of color and expression.. this love transcended of any experience that our emotions are capable of handing, indeed my emotions were in a state of awe and dread, silent and prostrate before this experience. In this glorious state outside of the wave of time, outside of dimensions, we, the vessel, could not bear this unconditional love, this limitless light. We asked, we desired, we yearned to—in some way—to interact and not just receive. So the incomprehensible light gave us choice blessed be the limitless one who whose love created boundaries.To have choice, the incomprehensible One separated itself from the container and the Universe was born—time and space, consciousness, G-d—all came into being in that instant of instants. In the process of separation, the vessel broke into three pieces. A part of the vessel was seduced by itself into the fusion of absolute separation, hence the war in the layers. (Heavens, far different than any western image of heaven or at least one that I was previously aware of) this one-third choose to pursue the depth of fractal disassociation—the ultimate experience of materialization—the ultimate expression of choice being that rejection of the light in the time space expression.The next third of the vessel immediately offered back free will as a act of worship, and became vessels in the these realms and dimensions (there seamed to be numerous off them beings of such beauty and wisdom that I could only weep surrendering my life's water in response to this symphony of spiritual beings), they all serve the Divine Will through limitless surrender, separating only in relationship to dimensional accessing and participation in the creation unfoldment. All this flashing by in an instant of true awareness, seeing-felling-tasting-hearing experiencing in a wholeness that can not be described with any sensory description, for I would be so incomplete as to render the experience untrue.The last segment of the vessel sought a ground between the other two (that's us silly little puppies.) Our physical world was created (actually defined or slowed down by the pattern that already was), and with it time was further defined so that the vessel could experience manifestation of pure will. Hence the ten emanations. And so the drama of the human experience began to flower. As if creation was not enough, we chose further fragmentation and individualization and choose yes choose to divide ourselves into male and female subsets. Oh all the foolish drama of sexuality and how it plays in us. As I experienced our whole androgynous form of our human experience, I am saddened to say that most of my life has been caught up in the effects that this division has created in mankind. My soul is greatly humbled at how much of our motivation is based on this dynamic.I cannot explain the depth of this last and farthest fragmentation which was when we began to surrender are will to the one who wished to have it for is own (ha Satan). The fall of man has holographic ramifications that include everything that has every been taught on this fallen state, sin, ignorance , birth of desire in animal soul, loss of memory, DNA unwinding, extinguishing of the light bodies, etc etc.I could only make wild statements that would sound crazy, without personally experiencing the remembering. Things like: Food itself is a poison that shields the light from filling our consciousness. Indeed, part of the transformational process is to transmute the poison of food and to elevate it back into the recipient of light. Almost everything that we think is real, even those , who have traveled in the heavenly realms and have remembered higher states of consciousness, has been all but filtered and defused shadows of shadows of shadows of light. Indeed we were to tend the garden in the creative process till every plant, every animal, and every bacterium were participants in the partaken of the tree of life in the center of centers. But we instead chose the fruit of further polarization, enticed by the third that seeks pure, unadulterated rebellion the seizure of wills to create for himself an independent vessel of, The blessed Shechinah the Adom kadmone and the Ovinu Malkaynu,.So us this part of the vessel, wars with those who wish to steal our little wills piece by piece sin by sin curse by curse. Every soul realizes the loss of control, the robbing of the will that is taken from use—whether that be powers, governments, or our own surrender to the animal self that set up our additions and uncontrollable habits. It is the plan of the one-third of the vessels that craves the power of free will and seeks to collect it so that it can live independent of divine will. They exists in there phase canceled vehicles void of love and light preying on man till they gains enough of the will essence to physically manifest into the abominations that they are.The vessel was given free will. We all share this precious resource of spiritual essence. As fallen energies rob free will from the part of the vessel which is best expressed as the human experience. It gains power for physical manifestation: the more will it collect the more it is able to manifest in every plane, especially the physical plane (there objective). This is the eating of the Tree of Good and Evil. Call it setting up "karma", or any of the religious thoughts of sin, ignorance and separation that you have been taught. The worlds religions are all looking at this from different angles of perception in effect that are all right from that angle of perception, but equally all wrong because they do not have the Omni-view of all angles and perceptions and miss the vertical necessity of the Torah codes. Even as I try to transform this awakening down to a level of understanding, I realize it becomes a simple angular perspective void of the "truth," for truth apart from truth is error. To believe these ramblings as truth would only be a further deception. To let them stir and awaken your own remembering is the only true value they have. Find the part of your soul that resonates with this mad-man talk and begin to open up to who we really are. As you fold the pieces back into the whole, you will regain your memory of who we really are, and realize that the nastiest person you have ever met is a part of you also. And indeed haSatan is also an original and connected part of the vessel.I must not stop here you sh, and must share the work that is before us, for it is not enlightenment (remembering) that is so important. Indeed, enlightenment is the first step toward reunification with ourselves. For you see He is Love. I speak now of G-d, the one and only Blessed Be the Name. For the next part of remembering has to do with why we are right here and now. So here we are in this silly dance, this self-made illusion, and further fragmentation giving us yet another opportunity to exercise free will. Yes, free will, with all the pain, suffering and ills that exist in our shared choices. The path of reunification is a series of a remembering. When we remember that we are not individuals serving ourselves, and begin to serve others, this is the first awakening. As we further wake up, we begin to open up the vessel to receive love and light from G-d. All this struggle now caught up in the thousand of iterations of cultural/religious/language fragmentation's which are the 10,000 things that reflect back the light, giving us only shadowed glimpses of true remembering. The awakening continues until one remembers that they are not male or female, but an androgynous whole. The whole dance of sexuality is a point where consciousness and matter are the closest. Indeed, the Blessed One has implanted a seed in the Gritty Soil of the animal soul. This spark of Himself, buried in the very root of our humanness, is what the real work is about. My brothers, the reason why sexuality is so alluring is because just behind this energy is the very presence of God. Hence the very sign of our relationship with the Name (blessed be He) is in our bris. For know that we are closest to Him in are creative process. Until we are in intimate intercourse and complete union with our male/female whole, we will forever seek that experience outside ourselves. You sisters, who are closer to this truth, hear me. You have chosen to be the vessels that continue the individualization process through bearing the earth children. You are much closer to understanding just through this process alone. What both male and female individuals need to do is to remember that we are whole humans not needing the drama of sexuality we must quickly learn this little teaching. We must awaken to the point that we can birth the seed planted within our core. This work of reunification of self is Master the Holy Name of God which is at the base of our spine (Jewish mysticism.). This work of reunification of self is Master the Holy Name of God which is at the base of our spine (Jewish mysticism.) for there at the point where our souls touch this center of centers this heart of hearts is the Hebrew letters longing forthe freedom of the divine Name utterance to restructure the sequence into the true spiritual DNA helix of life.The birthing of the full measure of Christ within . (Christian mysticism) It is the true Awakenings of the Kundalini or true enlightenment (Eastern traditions.) Although they fall short of the true integration. It is to It is all that the mystical stories and traditions have been echoing in their attempt at singing this Song of Songs that each of our souls so desperately wants to hear. Once the physical vehicle has been purified and elevated to the point where this seed spark at the base of our spine (core of ourselves is more accurate) has full conscious expression on a molecular level, we again become vessels of the greater light, and elevate matter up the path of reunification, awakening others in our wake.Having now remembered, I will begin the transformation process within this vessel to purify, sanctify and awaken this spark at the end of this line. This Ray of Light that finds it beaming into this dirt body, so that it can return to the circle—the perfect vessel of limitless, light, and love. To what end I (Yosef Nachman Ben Israel, individualized-self) will go, to how many thousands of choices this soul thinks its needs before it regains and then surrenders free will to the only one worthy and leaves the line (in time/space) to return to the circle of eternal bliss, I do not know. I do not know if tomorrow I will return to the illusion of life, to dance around shadows thinking I am doing something important when, in fact, I am only toe-dipping in the shallow of the great ocean of limitless consciousness and life. In this "Tenderest of Moments," my life seems like a trifle waste. The six children I have called to me, my work with water, every woman I have loved, whether it be mother, daughter, sister, lover, friend, every man I have served and loved be it father child, brother, friend. All the pain and rejection I have chosen. As a result of unenlightened action and reaction, with those whose choice has stepped into further fragmentation, the good and the bad all seem but a discordant note against this grand symphony of color/sound/expression/light/love before me.I returned to my body, 4 hours in this time had passed, yet I had experienced several life's upon life's of rembering, there was a pool of water around me I was and drenched from head to toe, I was soaked in my life's water, my body must have wept the entire time, I was remembering. Tears are the gates to the most high blessed is the one who finds them.I ask you now brothers who have endured my ramblings thus far that some part of your soul resonated, with me for your assistance, especially you who are walking all the planes and multi dimensions, and you who have walked above the cleavage of culture, of language, of religious fragmentation will have no desire to control anything or anybody, but to be recipients of love, to share the light, and the perfect will, of the limitless One blessed be HaShem. I need the training to go on, I need the wisdom to overcome the pitfalls that lie in the higher dimensional realities, I need to find that place of utter humility that will save my soul from being a diluted false guru who's half truths only further fragment. I know you are out there silently doing the great work, I need thy console and help.To you my brothers and sisters individualized souls still caught in the dance, enlightenment is only remembering, it can take as few or as many choices as you choose to make it. But know this you are worthy of remembering who you are. Regardless of how far you have believed the shadow lies and how deep you have plunged into framintaion. You can this day remember and know the path back home. Love with all your heart soul and strength, if we do not serve consciousness and selfless love, we are only further fragmenting, adding to our free will, the myriad of more choices, that is our pain and suffering that will eventually rob you of free will essence and make you a slave to self/darkness/bondage/guilt/.Men, regardless of your individualized form, open up your womb, and allow the seed, the Divine spark, the Christ, the fire of consciousness, to be birthed into your body, for love sake the righteous must elevate the soil back into the vessel. Women find the wand of power that will fuel your service of love for the birthing of pure light within you. The bridge of light must be built. Share where there is light, and love at what ever level it can be received.I know best to serve my body Kinsmen (Jewish people) to be a part of the reunification, of two spiritual vehicles, that I must now stepping into the limiting cultural vernacular and religious languageing, that will gently awaken the carriers of the Torah codes (kind of a spiritual counterpart to the element of carbon), so I we'll be languageing the incarnation process, using kabalistic verbiage.Ah silly little me already trying to limit the limitless. I welcome the stammering and equal Silliness, of any soul who resonates with the rambling of words contrived to break the logic circuits (light blockers) and attempt to resonate the acceptance of light, which is transcending wisdom.Pre-sequel..……………..I wanted to note here the conditions that led up to this incredible experience because in reflection there are some elements worth discussing and considering. I had chosen that year to fast the entire month before Yom Kippur , I had gone on a juice fast for several weeks to prepare my body for a complete water fast I was well into the fast when Rosh Hashanah arrived there is a special blessing when you eat for Rosh Hashanah it is considered a holy act , being well into a fast one loses the desire to eat and knowing that when you do eat it pulls you back down and you have to experience the process of hunger again so it was not my desire to eat at all and yet I wanted to fulfill the blessing and so I took a small portion of food after the service with a genuine desire to exalted and worship in the active eating having absolutely no desire for food at any other level. This base desire for food is what brought us into the judgment of the tree of good and evil and so our desire for food has much greater reality in spiritual seeking. As I ate the food as an act to worship and elevation I felt my consciousness shifting it was as if the food itself had transformed into some other substance that was opening my consciousness this sensation began immediately on the first byte of food my spirit swooped heavenly word in an act of high worship as I chewed this food, it was not taste or pleasure in any physical matter but it was a true offering up of will in the simple act of eating this food for true spiritual purposes.Once I was finished eating I went home with my children on the way home I began to smell beautiful odors as if I was in a magnificent garden in full bloom, I made the comment to my children to this smell these beautiful smells, there puzzled look made me realize I was smelling something that was not in this realm that I was still in a high state of consciousness as a result of my worship in eating the food. This is when I realized I needed to separate myself and spend the rest of the day in prayer in seclusion I began to open up holy books and pray scanning the Aramaic Zohar, chanting, praying from the heart, and delighting in the Merciful Ones presence. this is what brought on the awakening I have attempted to explain.

Find the tender moment,
I love you all, for you and I are one